Dear Bacon,
I have come to love you over the years, I have come to know you by many names; fat back, cracklen, pork rinds, and swine chips. As of today you will be nothing more than the best friend to tomato – a new member of the land of misfit toppings. You can tell your glue sniffing cousin bacon bit to stop calling too… my potatoes will know him no more!
They say all good things must end someday. It hurts me to say adieu, but its not you, it’s me. We have just grown apart over the years, what with your whole foray into lip balm and lollypops, and being a named conspirator in the Adkins Diet debacle… Go ahead, eat all the red meat and fat you want, just “Say No to Carbs” and you will lose weight. (Just in time for your first triple bi-base, angioplasty two’pher)
Bacon, I wish you didn’t have to go. I’ll think of you often when I pass over your lifeless corps on the salad bar in route to the heart of palm. It would’ve been nice if we could’ve parted on better terms, but don’t let the door hit you where the dog ‘bout bit you.
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