Challenge: Two Score No More

"For the last time, anything you put on that prompter Burgundy will read!"

During our recent Thursday workout, Krause rolled out the new chest and triceps for the next phase which included an evil exercise called corncob push ups. After demonstrating the movement he graciously offered our ego's a get out of jail free card with a revised set of three. My hamster wheel did not process that revision. I'm a robot people, if it's on the paper I'm going to do the work out. If Krause wanted to be a real bastard he could throw in a set of tread mill runs with my shorts at my ankles -- and because it is written it is gospel.

Outside of my lemming tendencies and a sadistic love for seeing my brother from another mother stumbling into the gym at half past WTFreak-time-is-it?... yesterday was the official start for our combined challenge, "Two Score No More." As noted in the last entry of this fine digital broadside the Prognosticator of Pain and I are going mano a mano in a race to lose twenty pounds per capita. Last one to cross the finish line buys the other a fish dinner. (Sorry, Dorthy Mantooth is extra)

As true gamesmen, former UNLV teammates, and once upon a time roommates Krause and I take our challenges as serious as a Mexican standoff between two matchstick men... Smiles on our faces but anti-freeze running through our veins. So it would be expected that he predicted my casual efforts to wear four layers of cloths and a led laden back-pack to our weigh in. Likewise, I enforced the "no touching the wall" rule to ensure no extra grapefruit got added by downward force. On our honor and document via the gym's surveillance cameras for future depositions the below weights have been validated by the Nevada Board of Weights & Measures:

As of this Halloween in the year of our Lord 2013 Krause checks in at 201 lbs with 20.0% body fat and I, your scribe for this savage journey tips the scales at 221 lbs with 20.6% body fat. Please don't think that racing to drop double deuce is easy (see below comment section for scientific explanation  by Krause.) Over the past year I have been on a brutal lifting regiment plus I don't drink soda, booze, or liquid lard any longer -- so with the only avenue to succeed being nutrition, I'm on a water and Trinidad Scorpion pepper cleanse for the foreseeable future. My appointed sparing partner has three avenues; nutrition, working out, and booze. On the other hand, the third avenue is like taking the rivets out of a destroyer; fermented gluten is the only thing keeping his ship a float. In addition, he will have to be south of 10% body fat to enjoy the sweet satisfaction of having me pick up the check in a couple months. I must also mention that I quickly amended the terms of the challenge to exclude purchases of alcohol for the winner... Krause has a massive hollow leg even by Dean Martin standards!

To be continued...