Halloween has become the second largest grossing U.S. "holiday" behind the three month long Christmas season. Have you noticed that adults have hijacked this evening from the kiddies? What once was a night of sugar over dose for junior, has now turned into a festival of middle class sleaze. Halloween became lame for yours truly about the time my parents stopped letting me order off the kids menu at Bob's Big Boy.
We get it! You unhappy house wives desire deep down to be naughty librarian strippers! I'm not going to deny, its awesome watching grown adults in the uniform of their Id sashaying down the milk isle of Wal-Mart looking all trashy. The one day on the lap around the Sun that it is acceptable to wear devil horns and Lederhosen at the PTA meeting, I'm screaming "Roll play!"As a parent, I still enjoy the time with kids as we go around the neighborhood snooping from door to door picking up pounds of bite sized temptation. Halloween is no different from the other days of this journey, as certain food vices float to the top others are mere background noise to the new diet plan.
I am cool with abstaining from Sneakers, Twix, Milky Way, and even 100 Grands... but for get about it when the little old Asian lady with all the cats drops a handful of Tootsie Rolls into the bucket. Just take a moment in your mind's eye to imagine me in the middle of the street, not caring a bit that all the soccer moms in their club attire were frowning at my behavior, as I'm rifling through each child's bucket for those sweet chewy chocolate goodness. If house wives can dress like a Hunger Games street walker for one night, then I can lose my willpower in front of the entire neighborhood.
Oh yeah... It is the end of week thirteen and the start of two weeks of hellish circuits. By the way, lunges are the death of me. Go Rebels!
Weekly weigh in: 204.0
Lbs dropped since last weigh-in: 2.8
Total pounds dropped: 28
To hit 195: 9
Weeks to go: 4
I got no pearls of wisdom or encouragement this week, because all I can think about is sluttily dressed Vegas housewives. Ah the free pass that is old Hallow's Eve. It's always been one of my favorites of the drinking holidays, as a kid, obviously, for very different reasons than these days. Speaking of kids, there's a long time study tracking obesity rates in preteen adolescents. The first study, released in 1982, put the rate at 5%, 2012...24%! It has quintupled in 30 years. You can point to dozens of suspected culprits in this injustice; video games, internet, smart phones, social media, fast food, 2 income family dynamics...the list goes on. My vote: the ridiculous coddling of our kids. ADD didn't exist when I was a kid, if you got all psycho hyper you got whupped! Act a fool at the Wal-Mart cause you want a candy in the impulse aisle, you got whupped! Seriously, did they invent Ritalin just so overstressed parents could steal it from their kids? Or does that only happen in Utah? Hmmm. No more, no sir, whup your kids in public or private and the karma police could take the little bastards away! So what do you do...give 'em the damn candy to shut 'em up. It's probably best I never procreate, because I'd be bringing back the whuppin'. But my kid...wouldn't be fat, and wouldn't be lazy, and wouldn't be hyper. In my opinion, if the powers that be really wanted to protect children, they would look at childhood obesity the way they currently look at abuse/neglect, because in essence it's both. Did I digress? What I meant to say is I love slutty librarians, slutty schoolgirls, slutty nuns, slutty nurses, slu...
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