Bucket List Item #124:
Answer this question: What is it like to live with out knees?
Ever since Saturday's leg workout my body's lower half has physiologically revolted. I am now a threat to myself. Unable to climb or descend stairs upright, unable to out run a parked car, or bend over to pick up any object affected by gravity. All because of two sets of fifteen squats with 135 pounds on my shoulders. The mad man of physical fitness has dialed my number on this hypertrophy phase. Night sweats and bathroom screams.
I fear adult protective services will get a call from concerned neighbors as I moan in a zombie like shuffle from the front door to the mail box over the next few weeks. No right minded, tax paying suburanite will allow my daily death march to go unpunished. Those ninnies are going to sick the unholy HOA on me!
My first reaction is to launch a full scale investigation as to why the eminent establishment Office Depot doesn't have ADA required wheel chair ramps at it's entrance. Second thought is why do "eminent" and "preeminent" mean the same thing... Mysteries of the English language. I find the straddle step hop useful in navigating a single step, while staircases still require a pseudo military belly crawl. Life without knees didn't make my bucket list; can't say it sounds terribly enticing. Bionic knees, now there's something that piques my interest. I was thrilled to receive the Intel on a midweek blog post. More so to learn of the HOA investigation into Frankenstein-esque experimentation in JT's residence. Probably some obscure bylaw infarction to be sure. They're just doing their job, with a little too much zealot enthusiasm. It's like the third Reich. Gestapo tactics!
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