The greatest things about America and the civilized Western world are constant opportunities to exercise free agency, embrace personal accountability, and determining a path to take in life. These things that I believe make America the numero uno, are also the toughest things to manage. In a world that resembles a free-for-all circus troop hijacked by a herd of self-righteous hipster tweaked out on their own ironic do-goodness, it is hard not to blame another human for nearly every mistake, blunder or vice to inflect an individual.If I wanted to double fist chili cheese fries and suck them down like
Coca-Cola on a hot summer day, the fine print on the reverse side of the Declaration of Independence gives me the right. However, when my nine month pregnant wife, of nearly a decade, makes a batch of chocolate chip cookies, I wish the communist had won the Cold War. No half starved, thirty something, self-respecting man on a long weight loss journey should be tempted with the siren's song of molten chocolate nuggets snuggled in a lily pad of sweet cookie dough.
It would be easier living with single ply toilet paper, machine guns nest in Time Square, and nonstop reruns of the first thirty minutes of Rocky IV..."If he dies, he dies"... then to manage the temptation of mama's afternoon snacky treats for the next fifteen weeks. I nearly folded delivering one to my dear aforementioned nine month pregnant wife, but her lightening quick reaction time ripped it out of my diet-busting tractor beam. May all things holy save me from the minions of temptation.
Just eat a cookie already, ya' Communist! LOL. Loved the post, man.
ReplyDeleteI almost had it in the ole pie hole but the wifey was to quick for me.
ReplyDeleteI can picture the opening sequence to the Classic TV show Kung Fu! Seriously, has anyone watched a rerun of this program recently...doesn't hold up! How did I remember it so differently? Maybe they should remake it the way Hollywood is recycling everything else crappy about the 70's and 80's only with the re-emergent cult popularity of Chuck Norris! Can I copywrite that idea?! I need a ruling. It's amazing how often our training clients bring indulgent baked goods to me and my trainers. They get a hair about baking then feel guilty, so they dump it on the people who hold them accountable. How does this make sense? Glad they bring them to us than consume them, as I am glad that your wife totally went ninja on your ass! Either way, temptation averted.
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