Failure is an option.

"Clearly the toxic fumes of commercialized exceptionalism continues to pollute the view of failure's rocky shore. Just because whole hearted attempts are made the rubric's justice shall not be mocked."         --Achieving ODJ

In 2013 I failed two challenges; "6-minute Treadmill Mile" and "20/15/4 Slow Grind." For those just joining our happy parade of fitness, the "6-minute Treadmill Mile" was a pretty simple challenge on paper -- run at a 10 miles per hour pace for six minutes. The combination of my 200 plus pound structure and my gym's loosely regulated maintenance schedule for the treadmill I threw in the towel rather quickly.

Unlike the 6-minute challenge, the "20/15/4 Slow Grind" became the hangnail in my work out routine for months. 20 minutes on the treadmill at a 15% incline at a 4 miles per hour pace, and with no hand holding the sissy bar. Conceptwise the challenge seemed to have a process based formula for achievement; start with the 20 minutes and 15% incline each time, set a minimum miles per hour (3.2 was the base line) and then each week notch up the miles per hour. Unfortunately for me, once I reached 3.5 my heart rate spiked to VO2 levels (a.k.a. the maximal aerobic capacity). For every tenth of a mile per hour I increased the less I could handle the incline. At 3.5 I could make the 20 minutes with an average heart rate of 140. At 3.6 I made the entire 20 minutes three times (out of 25 attempts) with an average heart rate of 165. At 4.0 I was only able to make 4 minutes one time maxing out my heart rate in the 175-180 range. Epic fail!

2014 is going to see double if not triple the number of failures now that Jaron is in the same area code. I don't get to accept failures, they don't need my validation. This ain't about a score card, number of ribbons, times dropped, or mudders completed... we pick up heavy weights and put heavy weights down a whole bunch of times.

Post script... Jaron is kicking my butt!
Jaron: 190.1 & 17.3%
Me: 220.5 & 20.3%

Testing. Testing. 1-2-3!

"YOU TELL ME! If a tree falls in the woods do you really think that it cares if it made a freaking sound? It just flat backed to the ground for a dirt nap and the last thing it cares about is if some granola eating PEDA slug can hear it come crashing down."            
-- The author of Achieving ODJ answering claims of inflated readership, circa 1982.               

It has come to our attention at No Fat Jokes Please that our readership numbers have been skewed by a spammer outfit located in one of the breakaway countries of the former U.S.S.R. I can vouch for the information because it came from the Internet - and the world wide web does not lie... so says Wikipedia. We are very proud of the devout readers of our blog and we have taken a blood oath to see this thing to the bitter end. Cuz in the immortal words of Dr. H.S. Thompson, "When the going gets weird, the weird go pro."

As we near the yearly dumping point for all the fitness tourist I am glad to be in a phase of work out that requires little thought and a whole crap ton of moxie. The circuit phase is living up to all the hype in prior post. This past combined training session Krause and I took on the chest & tricep sets like lambs to the slaughter. A total of one hundred and eighty military push ups and one hundred and eighty over-head machine presses broke me. The Duke of Delts called it a success because we reached muscle failure. After three minutes of rest we dropped a few more nails in the coffin by doing a set of dips and pec flys. In a twist of fate the only lingering pain was my swollen triceps. They felt like concrete flowed through the vascular system and hardened in them there meat sacks. HERE I COME SUMMER MUSCLES!!!

Now if I could just get my nutrition to kick in and help a brother shed a few pounds. Krause would like to have his sushi dinner before the ocean has no mo fish. (Yep... we are still in the marathon crawl of "Two Score No More")

Weekly numbers never lie:
JBK 193.4 17.6%
Moi 221.7 19.5%

One man's routine is another man's rut

I have come to accept that Body By Krause is a fluctuating sliding scale of muscle misery that is designed to keep me from truly enjoying work out routines. I get a nice rut carved into life's road map and the puppet master pulls the rug out from under me like that psycho brunette yanking the ball away just as Charlie Brown attempts to kick the football . It's a pretty simple process; new phase full of pain and suffering turns to just pain and then gradually becomes easy. Then bam! New set of work outs come over the wire and the pain-suffering cycle regenerates. I should serious consider abandoning my honesty for some lower moral accounting. Unfortunately Krause has just designed the weapon that will kill both of us... This phase is STUUUUPID!!!

I accept full responsibility for taking a nutritional break during our three week Christmas/BCS Bowl Championship vacation, which is why a circuit set makes complete since to carve pounds. Just not this type of depraved Guantanamo Bay circus. I'm going to leave the color commentary to the architect of this chaos.

Legs:
3 rounds of :60 seconds on :30 seconds rest
Prison squats
Burpies
20lbs dumbbell swings - alternate arms
   *rest 3 minutes*
3 rounds of :60 seconds on :30 seconds rest
Linebacker squats
Simulate jump rope
Speed skaters

Chest-Arms-Shoulders
alternate
Machine overhead press - 50-30lbs
Military pushups
40, 35, 30, 25, 20, 15, 10, 5 (total of 180 reps each)
 *rest 3 minutes*
alternate 5 sets of 10 reps
Pec Flys
Bench dips

Back/Biceps
alternate 3 rounds
Reverse pushups (15)
Bent over straight bar rows (15)
French bar 21's - 30lbs
 *rest 3 minutes*
alternate 3 rounds
Weight assisted pull ups wide grip (20)
Resistance band bicep curls (30)

Post script:
This weeks stats... truth in reporting!
JBK: 193.4 & 17.1
Me: 222.0 & 20.1