As many of our faithful readers already know about Jaron and I, we have yet to relinquish amateur blogger status, requiring us to maintain day jobs. Recently I went all Johnny Paycheck on the old salt mine and decided to hang a new shingle out. As part of any new job there is the standard product training and acculturation, which for me meant a ten day stint in the first state of the United States of 'Merica... Delaware! Home of Vice President Biden, and... uh... and... hmmm... that might be it for notables.
Even though the hotel accommodations were great, their work out ammonites lacked. If you have travelled for business you will pick up on what I'm laying down when it comes to describing the piss poor exercise area modern chain motels provide us. The guys who design these over sized closets with tread mills are the spawn of the same glue sniffing family who claim the three foot deep wading pool is "Olympic sized." So every business trip requires fitness ingenuity and creativity.
With the weather on the East Coast turning cooler I was not about to run in motion or miss out on the lush green landscape that was not installed by a team of Mexi-mericans. (For those new to the blog... Team ODJ lives in the upper branch of the Mojave Desert.) To my surprise Delaware looks a whole lot like Nebraska at ground level. The bi-product of some weird government agricultural energy plot to get all of us to change from hydrocarbons to popcorn embryos. During one of my long runs I could've sworn I saw the sign to Gatlin... more than once. Things would've gotten pretty interesting if a midget Amish dude stepped in the road quoting the Book of Revelations. On second thought, that would've been some good blog material. Nevertheless, my next visit to the land of Biden, I might stick to the hotel tread mills and Dr. Phil regurgitations playing on the tube; don't want to end up on a corn cross just because a few side show freaks get all Jim Town on this wayfaring stranger trying to burn a few calories after a prior evening's Ruby Tuesday gluten bender. The Blue Man! Yes, the Blue Man!
Wasn't expecting a Children of the Corn reference with regards to Delaware. Having never been, I'll take your word for it. Truth be told, I had to consult Rand McNally to remind myself where DE is. Long gone is my elementary school knowledge of US geography. In 38 years of life, I have yet to meet an actual person from Delaware. Random. Motel gym amenities are predictably sparse. Luckily I believe I have schooled JT on the intricate art of body weight exercise. If you know what you're doing, you don't need fancy equipment. That said, it sure helps. As I may have been overheard saying in the past, I only run from bears and cops. Not a fan of treadmill running, much less tooling down the interstate access road sucking down east coast exhaust. Diet, on the road, is another detour to the proper program as well. So hard to be honest when on a business trip. Only once in my life have I been on a similar trip, when undergoing corporate training with TGI Fridays. Included in the curriculum, eating at 5 separate Carlson owned restaurants, nightly study sessions at the hotel bar, and a corporate office break room vending machine stocked with Heineken and Coronas! Not exactly the recipe for success. Fun, you betcha! Success, not so much. Well, the cat's no longer away, time for the mouse to stop playing and get his ass in line once more. The road ahead is about to get bumpy for ole JT. This coming week marks the start of a new era. One on one training with the long absent trainer. Not sure who should be more scared, Jarvis or me. In keeping with past rhetoric, pray for the both of us!
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