Hey J! Did you know that this resort's claim to fame is consuming 150 pounds of butter every day?
If you have followed this blog for any length of time you know that there is no hiding from the fact that my writing prose and choice of topics could never pay the bills. Days're getting longer... Masters got me work'n... Some day he set me free. Last week the day job flew me into the ATL for our annual conference. HOLY HEART ATTACK! Growing up in Tennessee never fully prepared me for visiting the motherland as a grown, health conscious, thirty-something. No wonder the cuisine is nicknamed "soul food"... you have to sell your soul to get off that dietary crack. Gets a fool all shook up; freaking cat nip for fat people.
Thankfully Jaron wears his Troy Aikman commemorative Dallas Cowboys helmet around the house, he nearly took a sailors dive into the big screen when he read my text.
Dude! Heading to the Dirty South for a week. Weight room sucks. Constitution is weak. Like a true practitioner of guerrilla fitness, the MacGyver of personal training designed a traveling work out plan from six breath mints and a Bone Thugs-n-Harmony compact disc. It kinda freaked out the hotel help, but it got the job done.
Financial advisory note:
Buy stock in every witch doctor med-co peddling arterial plaque medicine in the South.
A pound of butter is almost bio identical to a pound of human body fat. That is to say it contains 3248 calories (3500 in a pound of body fat). Making that hotel's claim to fame a mere 487,200 calorie addition to the collective Dirty South's ever expanding waistline...daily! Woof. If any good can come of the Paula Dean racism scandal, it may come in the form of reduced nationwide hypertension. That chubby cracker sho loved her some butter.
ReplyDeleteNow that ole JT's back, I gotta confess the Bone Thugs wasn't actually a necessary element in the workouts, just the propagation of a loooong running inside joke/hazing ritual.