It has been a great year under the fitness tutelage of the grand master of flash mobs. I am proud to announce that shortly after this post has been scrubbed by our cute NSA intern, Jaron will be relocating a half-dozen hundred miles south on the ole Spanish Trail. I am very excited to have my brother in ODJ residing in Vegas once again. As us desert rats commonly tell outsiders... The UNLV is our university, but it stands for U Never Leave Vegas. Unlike most failed escape attempts by the passengers on the Las Vegas merry-go-around, Jaron was the one person that needed to leave for a spell in order to become a successful fitness consultant (don't need to hold that rib in!) and even more successful entrepreneur. You ever seen the movie Hancock? Jaron is Hancock, Vegas is Charlize Theron. Nuff said!
To honor the triumphant return of Sin City's prodigal son, I would like all our esteemed to rent Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, pump "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega, and hacky-sack in your Speedo (underwear is not a substitute).
Vegas baby, Vegas! Can't wait to be home again. What a year in the life of a reformed fatboy. I may have needed to leave Vegas for a spell (statute of limitations and all), but no one should have to endure the moral ostracism rampant in Happy Valley! I need me some condoned debauchery. Maybe just shy of acting like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel, but debauchery no doubt. Life is about to get a little more real for ole JT, having me there to work out with one on one. Pray for Jarvis. As to the assignment for our faithful, A) this should have been done a long time ago, B) reading Fear and Loathing is an acceptable, if not preferable, substitution to the film, and C) if the hacky-sack challenge is accepted, Elton John's greatest hits should be playing in the background, to add to the homoerotic overtones.
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