G-O-A-T

Greatest of All Time... The debate format that turns my stomach every time I walk into a room of pontificators. Halitosis of the brain filling the air with society’s mental decay. Call him what you may, but at least the fool has an errand. At worst, the chin music has a beat. The G-O-A-T ushers in the numb.

I once relied on headphones to pump the motivation sounds of alt-rock. Today, they are a refuge from the verbal diarrhea coming from remedial class rejects, which is invading my mental comfort zone. I might need a safe word. The mutual pooling of “like” and “you know” can cause irreversible IQ in laboratory rats. The only politics they know is what Facebook tells them. Talking weather is unpredictable and religion is being practiced in the mirror, so no need to discuss. All aboard the G-O-A-T merry-go-round.

G-O-A-T debates are multigenerational turf wars over who’s childhood great would win in a fictional competition in the already absurd gamification of ancient military exercises. Psychologist have found the music we listen to at 18 and 19 years of age will stick out as the greatest music of our generation. I would submit for sports, the age of emotional coding is around 10 and 11. People’s passion to defend their G-O-A-T’s honor is only matched by religious zealots and amateur multilevel marketers. Daring to desecrate their G-O-A-T god is punishable by… nothing… this is ridiculous. Just punching air.  

When I am feeling conversationally sadistic the best course of action is to drop the G-O-A-T grenade in a group of intoxicated sports freaks, then step back to enjoy the verbal stench consume all surrounding intellectualism like a black hole. Take a deep breath.