Friday, December 26, 2014

40 by 40

Common folk: "Hey Jaron, you were a swimmer? I was a swimmer too... in high school."
Jaron: "No. You swam. You were not a swimmer."









 The taper for my swim meet was fun; and getting fat while resting for the meet was even funner. My coach actually said to me after one of my more exciting races; "Could you imagine how face you could go if you lost weight and trained more!?!" I told him, "skinny Jarvis is not fun Jarvis." But in reality I need to trim 20 large off my score card to really get the most out of the pool and the weight room. So I guess it's time to buy a ticket for the wagon and get back to business.

This chubby boy is back on the wagon as of today! However, unlike years past this next go around of dieting, complaining, lifting, mocking, and blogging will be dedicated to Jaron's goal completion. Outside of a suicide challenge I am working toward, which will remain classified for the near future until we agree it is worth the pain and embarrassment, my efforts in the gym will be supportive. Jaron is turning the big "4-oh my gosh!" in April of 2015; and more importantly celebrating the occasion on a tropical beach. And as any loyal reader of this rag will recall, the Evangelist of Ego refuses to travel abroad without a firm base tan and solid summer muscles to impress the ladies. Hence 40 by 40!

kinda...

Since Jaron is a reformed fat guy who rarely relapses, there is no way for him to lose 40 pounds. But titling this entry "27 by 40" would be a bull in my fung shway china shop. Cue my supportive role. I will be covering the balance of his weight loss for this challenge. I am hoping his vanity carries him well past the 30 grape fruit mark. I'm good for a dime -- anything else could cause my obesity to flare up. I would prefer not to shock the system. I'm married, comfortable in my invisibility to the ladies, and I ain't got no dragons to slay this spin around the sun. Don't need to kill myself this year... Just focus on being a supportive workout partner for one of my brothers from another mother. Trim enough L-B's to get us to 40, keep the old lady on the verge of jealousy, and avoid man-boobs. Everything else will be gravy in Twenty-15.

Next blog will outline our current strength phase and progress to date. I made a game time decision to hold off on publishing this round's exercises that Jaron has laid forth. We need to clear up a point of doubt to ensure our code of ethics around full disclosure and crystal clear transparency is upheld. It's no minor point. There are possibly "student becomes the master" type implications. You'll just have to "concentrate" on the next blog.

Post script: Rumor has it ladies, Jaron "The ODJ" will be submitting a shirtless photo from his aforementioned beach trip.    

1 comment:

  1. 40 by 40 was initially meant to be a solo mission, but I was always a math geek growing up and as it turns out, the math didn't work. Based on lean body mass, 40 pounds of weight loss is not achievable. Would put me at something like negative 2% body fat. So I enlisted Jarvis to make up the remainder. I expect to get to 10% give or take by my 40th, putting me down about 30. I entrust Ole JT to make up the balance. His upcoming challenge is a doozy! I suspect I will undertake it along side of him. God help us both. Stay tuned for details. I have, in fact, vowed to supply the blog master with a topless photo of the architect of body by ODJ on his 40th. This will either inspire or eradicate our loyal readership. Depends on the dedication and adherence to my own program and nutrition plan. Biggest obstacle, reduction of booze! And, good lord, that's a tall order. Christmas was unkind in that regard. New Year's looks to be equally so. January it seems, cliche not withstanding, looks to be a better day. And so it starts! Beginning weight was 207 and some change; officially my highest since dropping 80 grapefruits in 2006. Oh how the mighty fall. Booze and laziness have always been my bane. I regret not, but moving forward I must tame the beast. Like ole JT, I respond best to a challenge or deadline. I will not fail, 40 by 40 is that moniker, and it's prophecy will be fulfilled. Lost two and a half last week, expect no loss this week, with the holiday, and friends in town. Moving forward, 2 a week is the bare minimum. So be it. Prepare for the 40th photo, whatever I may bear. Triumph and total embarrassment are a push on the money line as of the time of print.

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