If you ever desire to mess with a creature of habit; first find out where they park their car in the lot of their
employer. Show up extra early, because they are the ones usually arriving to work on or near the exact same time each day. Park in their spot for two weeks. And then suddenly stop. Creatures of habit will lose their mind! Because by the time you stop, they will have begun nesting elsewhere. Getting their structured life back in order. In the eyes of the rest of humanity something as simple as a different daily parking spot doesn't even register. But to a creature of habit the tweak ripples through their anal retentive day. Side note... You don't need to be a co-worker to pull off this stupid prank, because if you are the type of person to put this time and effort into the prank you are the same type of person who puts a premium on naps, lunch breaks, and childish behavior.
The gym is populated with all breeds of the creature of habit (50% of this blog covers one or more types.) I have come to love the guys who have set lockers. Sorry ladies, you'll have to add a comment on locker room personalities, since no upstanding fitness queen will be caught contributing to this rag. The locker room is just like the aforementioned parking lot. I'll spice things up by rushing in front of the lumbering creature of habit with a history of poorly planned artwork traveling up his arm, and take his locker. Holy cow! If looks could kill, I'd be a dead man walking.
Jaron and I have a standing weekly early morning workout. And going to the gym early in the A.M. is Groundhog Day every day. Same cast characters. Wearing the same outfits. Lifting the same weights. Talking the same mind numbing drivel. If you look at the dynamic duo of snark we are minus the drivel and do not lift the same weights, but Jaron and I fit into the re-run perfectly. Allowing us to duck blind around the natives without bringing attention to our ongoing research project.
Laying low in the gym is easier when no one knows you're a trainer. I fear Ole JT and I experience a different existence working out together. While he believes we are duck blinded, I know differently. People watch. They want to know what a trainer does in their workouts. I notice the onlookers, but don't mention them to Ole JT. No one wants the pressure to preform in front of an audience. Taking the locker of a meathead is risky business, Jarvis! Had I known about this simple pleasure of yours, I would have warned against it. But, you're still with us, so you haven't crossed the wrong roid freak yet. If my time in gyms has taught me anything, it's that we are all creatures of habit. There are those who only know 2-3 basic workouts from high school athletics. 3 sets of 10. Complete and repeat. Those that follow with undying devotion the workouts detailed in the latest issue of Muscle Magazine. Those that hit every machine on the row with no plan at all. There is no better place to observe the human condition, not even the airport. We don't just chronicle gym stereotypes, we document human fallacies. The gym is one place the rubber meets the road. I grew up with Jane Fonda and Richard Simmons professing the ability of cardio based exercise to burn off the pounds. We once "knew" the world was flat. You wanna know why guys don't stop for directions when we are lost? Before you say "stubborness", allow me to enlighten you. Guys don't stop for directions because we KNOW where WE'RE going! If we know where we are going, why should we stop for directions? Simply put, it's not that we are stubborn, just ignorant. We don't know what we don't know. I recently read an article that likened this concept to Fox News personalities. It opined that one must be moderately smart to understand that they are dumb. Truly stupid people don't have the intelligence to understand their own stupidity. Without getting into a debate on politics, I agree. Fox News personalities, like gym guys, form inane opinions/workout plans on ill-gotten information and don't stop to ask for directions...since they're not lost. I am lead to belive we have one more post from the auteur before the glutinous holiday break. I have been granted a stay of execution by the governor of this rag to post on Turkey Day. Hide your kids, it won't be as PG as the first such adventure. As before, ye be warned...
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