What do you get when you give your trainer the nod to revise the weekly workout and he has a demented mind and discretionary time? I advise you to not tempt fate seeking out the answer. I did, and I'm scarred. In what the patriarch of paralysis billed as a mash-up workout to get my creative blogging juices flowing turned out to be a muscle Cuisinart of full body smack down. At one point I contemplated taking off my shoes, maybe a sock to draw the meat-head native's attention away from my crying.With the weight loss competition locked up by Jaron and his win just mere academics we needed to find something that'd give our loyal readership inspiration to scroll through more than just blah, blah, narcissism, blah, blah, self-deprecation. I wanna get better at the craft of fitness and chronicle the journey, but this workout served up perspective like a deranged taxi driver screaming through the center of town blasting the straights with a fire hose. Cross fit is looking more tantalizing every day.
3 rounds of 1:00 on :30 off.
Stability ball mountain climbers
Floor wipers (knee tucks with a mat to slide feet)
Oblique twists on the ball with 20lb dumb-bell twist
3:00 rest
Second verse same rest and sets as the first, but next level of discomfort.
45lb sleds on a mat for 50 yards
One-arm Turkish squats, 8 per arm with 20lb. (I'll leave this one to the expert)
18" box jumps, 12 jumps.
Full transparency:
JBK: 186.2 & 16.4%
Me: 218.2 & 20.0%
Midway through the second set, I swear I saw ole JT sitting on the court like Richie Tenenbaum sans two shoes and one sock. "Is he crying? I think he's crying." How I felt, anyway. Said it before, and echo it now, I always fail to consider my own potential mental and physical wellbeing when writing these workouts. The weight loss challenge is all but over, and I know not a day too soon for Mr. Marlow. These things always boil down to motivation, and this time, I had it. A little less than three weeks to go before my birthday and beach vacation. Can't roll out on the pristine sands of Aruba looking like a narwhal. I swore to Ole JT I would submit a topless photo from said trip, and good, bad or completely embarrassing, it would be his prerogative to post on the www. Now that's incentive! New week, new workouts. Got a whole new set of tricks up my sleeve, sure to give Jarvis night terrors and justification for installing the standing loo. Til then...
ReplyDelete"Expert" forgot to explain the Turkish bench squats. It's a play on a Turkish get up. Sitting in a chair, 20 lb dumbell held in one arm extended directly overhead, stand without rocking forward for momentum. If this sounds easy, try it. Key is: no momentum! They'll make you wanna slap yo momma.
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