Like the point of reference in open water swimming and Bear Grylls style nature waking, nutrition is the same. Recently I have relied on my knowledge of what is good food and what is not so good and what is down right Paula Dean (bad food that is, not being a cornball racist) to direct my eating habits. I removed logging in MyFitnessPal app from my routine for this challenge with the Pontiff of Pectoral Paralysis. MyFitnessPal is like the point of reference. Even though I have been eating good food, portion sizes have increased because that is my dominate tendency. By stepping away from logging my caloric intake my weight loss graph looks like the Rocky Mountains instead of a steady downward grade I saw during Destination 195. Brutal honesty is ODJ!
Jaron: 194.0 17.1%
Me: 221.2 19.3%
This past week Krause decided to modify the back and arms workout by changing out the alternating dumb bell curl for a more North Korean level crazy exercise called "forced negative." It lives up to the name!
1. Find your friendly bicep curl machine.
2. Put a light weight on, 65lbs for us.
3. Do 5 steady reps, which should be easy.
4. Have your partner pull down on the bar.
5. Do 5 reps trying to keep the bar up.
6. Avoid blowing an o-ring or pooping yourself.
We only did a trial set of this spawn of Satan... I can only imagine the disgust and colorful metaphors when we fully integrate the forced negative into our workouts after the winter break.
The blog will be taking a break for the Christmas holiday (Krause celebrates the full Bowl Championship Series, better known as Festivus of BCS, which goes thru the January 6th National Championship.) So thank you to our four domestic followers, our NSA handler, and all the Eastern Europeans for making No Fat Jokes Please the #1 blog in the 30-40 age group writing in the category of "Non-Nuclear Passive Narcissistic Fitness Bloggers." We could have never done it without our readers.Post Script
Corrections from last week's blog. In an effort to keep a C+ to B- grammar standard Krause brought it to my attention that last weeks blog was polluted with an abnormal amount of spelling errors. Further investigation revealed that I replaced the word "plank" with "blank." I would chalk up one or two as a byproduct of sub-rural Tennessee public education, but the entire past was replaced. I can only assume that my subconscious had a Pavlovian response to my frontal cortex desiring to type "plank." Most likely the reptile portion of my brain recalled all the foul language required to execute a plank and over-road my mind-to-keyboard signal. Thankfully my moral filter caught the serpent beguile and inserted "blank" (a writers version of the bleep button) to ensure our PG-13 ratings stay intake.
For anyone who ever took 9th grade biology, you may recall the anatomical reasoning that explains why boys carry their books at their side, arm extended, and girls carry their books clutched to their chest. Historically, men are hunters, and carry spears, women are gatherers, and carry...babies. Odd these instinctual predilections endure. Along the same lines, we create a strength disparity in our arms by instinctually carrying things in our non-dominant arm, while keeping our dominant hand free for keys and door knobs. Thus creating an endurance arm and a dexterous arm. Similarly, if one has ever participated in nearly any sport, a dominant leg is created, usually the opposite of one's dominant arm. In basketball and volleyball, you jump off your left leg while laying up the ball, or hitting it, with your right hand (for right handed people). In soccer, you kick with your dexterous leg, but trust your "dominant" leg to steady your weight while doing so. Skateboarding, your typically kick with your dexterous leg, while trusting your balance and weight bearing on your dominant leg. All said, life spawns strength disparities, and left unchecked, can cause joint dysfunction, chronic pain issues, and Quasimodo-esque posture. Enough self indulgent anatomy education for one day. If the last year has taught me anything, it's that Ole JT needs a North Star. Myfitnesspal was largely responsible for Destination 195. That he hasn't been using it, comes as no surprise, given the measurement rollercoaster. If he were the boozehound I am, I wouldn't question the startling, and unpredictable gains. At this point, I don't need a scale, or myfitnesspal for that matter, to know what is changing about my weight. I pretty much know the nutrient content of all the things I eat (and drink) on a regular basis. I pretty much know how many calories I burn on a day without exercise (basal metabolic rate) and how many I burn in a typical workout. My high school algebra teacher said I would use algebra later in life, never believed her, but I use it daily: calories in vs. calories out equals change in body weight (x-y=z). This is referred to as the "law of thermodynamics", not the "best guess of thermodynamics"; works every time. Math don't lie. For fitness newcomers, a calorie tracking tool is imperative. Knowledge is king. Here's to a new found (re-found) North Star in Jarvis's journey. Now, time to make fun of a Southerner who can't spell! "Planks!" We may have lost a reader or two over that last entry. And we can't afford to lose a third of our readership! The forced negatives were introduced to me by a former trainer of mine. Those evil bastards are sure to cause Mr. Marlow some severe angst over the next month. One sad little set of them, as a primer, set my biceps ablaze. We's about to get stoopid with 5 sets next week. And PG-13?! You have to be shitting me! Actually, I guess they have an F-bomb-o-meter for PG-13 movies. There's a secret magic number, not sure what it is, but that is a word not previously dropped in this blog (though eluded to on many an occasion). Sounds like I have an opportunity here...
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