Staple them elbows to the table!

Hey J! Did you know that this resort's claim to fame is consuming 150 pounds of butter every day?

If you have followed this blog for any length of time you know that there is no hiding from the fact that my writing prose and choice of topics could never pay the bills. Days're getting longer... Masters got me work'n... Some day he set me free. Last week the day job flew me into the ATL for our annual conference. HOLY HEART ATTACK! Growing up in Tennessee never fully prepared me for visiting the motherland as a grown, health conscious, thirty-something. No wonder the cuisine is nicknamed "soul food"... you have to sell your soul to get off that dietary crack. Gets a fool all shook up; freaking cat nip for fat people.

Thankfully Jaron wears his Troy Aikman commemorative Dallas Cowboys helmet around the house, he nearly took a sailors dive into the big screen when he read my text. Dude! Heading to the Dirty South for a week. Weight room sucks. Constitution is weak. Like a true practitioner of guerrilla fitness, the MacGyver of personal training designed a traveling work out plan from six breath mints and a Bone Thugs-n-Harmony compact disc. It kinda freaked out the hotel help, but it got the job done.

Financial advisory note:
Buy stock in every witch doctor med-co peddling arterial plaque medicine in the South.

Who fired Atlas?

Failure is always an option. A very real possibility with disturbingly high probability. With no known human or marsupial to ever fully realize ODJ, failure must be respected. Failure is the nauseating cold sweats before quitting a job. Failure is the thousand yard stare after a near ELE with a semi-truck. Failure is why NASCAR is a multi-billion dollar cottage industry. Failure is always an option. But a wise man once stepped toward failure and cried out; "Pain heals...Chicks dig scars... Glory last forever!"      --Achieving ODJ

 
Hopefully the IOC has no plans to ban carisoprodol, or my 2014 Olympic curling debut may be in jeopardy. My lower back is longing for the days of bocce ball and shuffle board on the lido deck. However, for the time being, I am the willful servant to the prodigal son of pain. Jaron has written a great back & arms work out. That is, if you're looking to go on long term disability. Last week my arms would not fully flex, making for a few awkward client hand shakes. Visualize two forklift arms with meat gloves extended outward. One person actually shook both my hands at the same time and asked if it was a Southerner thing. I am lost.

Unable to fully disclose his proprietary workout, I feel it is within contractual language to speak on the weighted underhand pull-ups. Ten pounds is fo'real! As Taylor likes to say, "Its miserable and magical!"

Post Script
If anyone has the below phone number, I apologize. This is what butt dialing on the narrow grip cable rows looks like; 11119999922222*********111199999922222*******