33 minutes and 24 seconds later, Hell had no fury like forearms set ablaze, ego crushed, and brain fluid leaking from my eyes -- A good 8 minutes past our goal time of 25 minutes. Damn those Spartans! With their chiseled abs and Jersey Shore spray on tans -- GTL! You broke me, stole my man card, and heckled me like a herd of bullies set loose at Comic-Con!
Over the next eight weeks, all focus shifted toward preparation for a full frontal assault. Our PR firm came up with a great marketing campaign and a tag line for this epic battle... Round Deuce: Quitters Attend Meetings, Chicks Dig Scars! I put on lean muscle, grew a par, and began a daily ritual of sleep deprived road rage (the first part was compliments of a four month old, teething baby girl). With the help of an old fashioned swimming inspired taper, my 37th birthday on February 15, 2013 marked the day I concurred the Spartan 300 Workout. A margin of victory that would've given Maximus Decimus Meridius nightmares and bed-sweats; 24 minutes and 22 seconds... 38 seconds under the mark.
Post script... It would be nice if the FDA approved bovine grade Ibuprofen for human consumption. Nearly had to pay the wife to take dictation for this entry; keyboard not friendly to claw hands.
First and foremost, happy birthday bitch! Now, when you first attempted the 300, I thought your time of 33+ minutes was respectable, albeit a little slow, considering your "man card" was on the line. For those (in the UK, as I'm told we have a loyal following, cheers brothers!) who don't know, Jarvis was stripped of his man card years ago. A sad combination: lack of self respecting booze consumption, church attendance, daughter having, nappy changing, and body fat gathering. There are other factors, but despite recent blog revelations, I choose to respect ole JT's privacy and limit it to those specified parameters. In any case, man card lost and gone for some time. 25 minutes! That was the original challenge. Beat it and regain your "man card". FAIL! I said it in a previous post, this is brutal and finishing is respectable. Truth be told, my time from years ago told me: 33 minutes sucks! As executor of the JT man card, I must hold a strict standard for reissuance. 33 minutes ain't gettin' it done! Enter "round 2". With the prep and taper, I felt like a victory was looming. Booyah!, Victory achieved! Sub 25 minute completion! As the long time executor of JT's man card, I hereby officially submit the re-issuance of Jarvis's man card! And, as executor, grant said issuance conditional upon cessation of Rebel game listening on his daughter's "princess boombox". So be it! I'm more proud of ole JT's accomplishment of this sub 25 minute 300 than I have been of any previous challenge, due to the difficulty and the dramatic improvement from the last attempt. As this blog will live on, I submit the challenge to defeat this 300 in less than 20 minutes (which I've done) by your 38th! I'll be living in Vegas soon, and I vow to do it with you! Challenge extended...
ReplyDeleteFREAKING CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!
ReplyDeleteThis might require multiple small woodland animal's to give up the ghost in a primal sacrifices rivalling Indian Jones: Temple of Doom.