It
has been six months since my last entry. I experienced a rapid descent into
complete fitness and nutrition failure, which began the day after completing
Jillian Michaels workouts and The ODJ’s Groundhog’s Day Food Challenge.
Complete failure!
I
allowed back ever pound, plus an extra seven for good measure. I gained it all in less than five months -- a personal
high and fastest increase. The digestive system was thrown out of whack by the excessive healthy
food during the low-calorie high intake portion of the food challenge, causing me to fear the good. To add insult to gut injury, the continued pandemic restrictions has prevented real swim training, which is the best system regulator.
My
years of empowering fat storage, followed by wild weight loss programs, has
been the driving force behind No Fat Jokes Please powered by the ODJ.
However, this most recent loss-gain cycle was nasty. The record weight gain would've been ok on its own, but I experienced new body calamities: aches that mimicked post workout strains while not having worked out for months; food went from comforting the soul to taking on back ally addiction qualities; there was prolonged gut pains that sent
me back into the arms of bland processed foods; and gym conditions deteriorated
to new levels during extended pandemic restrictions. I am winded just writing.
By
Thanksgiving week my waistline had used up all the extra elastic. Seams holding my slacks together were beyond
structural integrity parameters, within days of an embarrassing crotch blowouts. Catastrophic
zipper to belt ripping is a sure bet at that gut size. An office walk of shame was in my immediate future -- my dress
coat tied around my waist and pride in ruins. With gravy and stuffing only days away, things had to quickly change.
First
off, I dropped my guilty pleasure sodas. Second, got off the “Wo unto me” chocolate
medication. Lastly, white ain’t right... Stopped all bread consumption. Getting down
with brown!
The
diet was in some form of repair going into the worst eating season of the year,
which only gave me a little time to focus on workouts. Son of a fat woman’s high
heel pump! I was needing to go strong during the most restrictive mask and occupancy mandate
of the entire pandemic. Challenge accepted.
Challenge
was accepted with zeal. Then I began my first work out... NOPE! No strength or
endurance could be mustard. There was no way I was jumping back into an ODJ program at
my current state of fat and fatigue. Time for remedy... aka remedial workouts. Think
of them as one step above water aerobics. Introducing “30 for 30” workout
program.
30
days
30
minutes of activity
Push up, jump rope, crunches
Planks and prayers
Seated stationary bike
Neighborhood power walk
Rowing machine and push ups
If
all goes well, I will be in decent enough shape to complete an ODJ recovery day
workout by Inauguration Day.