We at No Fat Jokes Please pride ourselves on an open book policy. The public needs to know, and we subscribe to full transparency. We also believe in dancing with the grenade before tossing it to the masses. It is crucial that all workouts Jaron organize are fully implemented, ridiculed, tweaked, cursed upon, and vetted for potential discrimination violations. Jaron and I have ran through the following four workouts since late June; dialing in the weight selection, erasing the impossible, and horse trading the 4-2-1 count sets. Because in the gospel of ODJ when something is in writing we shall not deviate. The stagecoach only knows one path, and if that path is off the cliff call the coroner because weez going over!
For those partaking in ODJ, it has come to our attention that the leg day is a pain boomerang... hurts while doing the sets, and then the pain comes back around two or three days later. The Pee-wee Hermans are sleeping killers. The heart red-lines and sweat pours out of my eyes. And that is just set number one of three.Then there is anything associated with the stability ball. Slap me in the face, call me Sally, and kick sand in my shorts! Such an inviting accessory. Almost looks out of place. Don't let it's cuteness fool you -- this rollie pollie is the harbinger of death. The seventh level of hell is decorated with stability balls.
Without further belly aching and self-loathing, I present to our reading audience... Stability Redux.
Back & Biceps
(4-2-1 count on all)
3x12 Weighted assisted pull ups wide grip 120 lbs
3x12 Reverse push ups on Smith machine
4x12 One leg dumb bell bicep curls
3x12 Reverse fly on lower back horse
Chest & Tricep
(4-2-1 count on all except plank push ups)
3x12 Dumb bell press on stability ball
3x12 Stability ball push ups narrow hands
3x12 Bench push ups wide hands
3x15 Plank push ups
Legs
3x12 Hack squat machine 90 lbs (4-2-1 count)
3x12 One leg standing reach with dumb bell (no 4-2-1 count)
3x12 Pee-wee Hermans (no 4-2-1)
3x12 Ball squats (4-2-1 count)
Core
(No 4-2-1 count)
3x12 Pike ups feet on stability ball in push up position
3x12 Plank roll-outs arms on stability ball with narrow forearms
3xea One-minute planks
3x12 V-ups
This phase is stupid hard! No discounting the pain endured within. I feel like an epileptic with tourettes 2 days after leg day. The cursing is involuntary. The pain is excruciating. But I must turn the commentary to a subject near and dear to my heart: participation ribbons. A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook two pictures of color-in-the-blanks photos of artwork by their two kids. One was immaculate, the other sucked. They wanted their friends to vote on which was better. No shitting you, dear readers, some people were voting for the shitburger entry! Paint the ODJ, at this point, as the bad guy! I railed against stupidity in the comment section, to avail. Have we lost touch with reality, folks?! Has the green ribbon generation won? We need to be frank with our kids. If you suck at something you need to know it. No longer should we encourage crayon-eaters to pursue a dream that has as much chance of realization as communism. The problem with this entitlement generation is that they have been institutionalized to believe they are good at everything. Because they can do no wrong, and will be praised for subpar, borderline state-supervised efforts, they feel they can do anything well. Guess what, helmet and mouthpiece? You can't! Take it from my generation, pursue what you can "actually" do well. I suck at many things, and I know this because I was told so growing up, by adults who knew how to raise productive members of society. I do not waste time or energy on said things. I focus instead on what I know I do well, and as such, I am successful. Green ribbons will be the downfall of this paralyzed nation we live in. I fear for a future of Donald Trump voting, retarded crayon-eating entitled know nothings. Rant concluded. Dare not to pursue our Stability Redux phase, rubes. It'll be the death of you.
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