This little piggy went to market...

Recently I had to call and audible on the jump rope portion of the weekly work out plan. The three little piggies on each foot were beginning early stages of succession. I informed the practitioner of pain that I'd survived two months of shin splints, chronic arch aches, and the embarrassment of jumping rope -- however, the three amigos were hurting so bad that during a kick set at last week's swim practice it felt as if two or four of them just gave up the ghost. The ODJ rule book states that modifications are allowed, but it must air on the side of extreme. So, being an ODJ fundamentalist, Jaron removed the jump rope and added incline tread mill. Shoot me now!

The set is a pretty straight forward; 20-minutes, max the incline of your tread mill (15% for the fine Gold's Gym stock) and then pump the MPH up to a paint drying speed of 4.0 miles per hour. Bad Water flat land 4.0 mph for yours truly is a brisk mall walk pace, or the George Clinton House of Blues quick step as Jaron and I like to call it. In my mind I was preparing to cry ODJ foul on my man for going on the weak. Then I attempted the set. Holy Helens! Even though I was taking :30 second breaks ever three minutes and rocking at a 3.5 mph speed, Mick threw in the towel at 13:15 after the smelling salts proved ineffective. A man's heart beat should never look like a subwoofer dropping DJ Magic Mike's bass test.

 

Slowing down the speed and increasing the incline is the wave of the future for this former fat guy. I have found my new challenge... survive 20 minutes of 15% incline at 4.0mph with no breaks.

 

To be continued...









Once around the Sun

It has been a great year under the fitness tutelage of the grand master of flash mobs. I am proud to announce that shortly after this post has been scrubbed by our cute NSA intern, Jaron will be relocating a half-dozen hundred miles south on the ole Spanish Trail. I am very excited to have my brother in ODJ residing in Vegas once again. As us desert rats commonly tell outsiders... The UNLV is our university, but it stands for U Never Leave Vegas. Unlike most failed escape attempts by the passengers on the Las Vegas merry-go-around, Jaron was the one person that needed to leave for a spell in order to become a successful fitness consultant (don't need to hold that rib in!) and even more successful entrepreneur. You ever seen the movie Hancock? Jaron is Hancock, Vegas is Charlize Theron. Nuff said!

 

To honor the triumphant return of Sin City's prodigal son, I would like all our esteemed to rent Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, pump "Mambo No. 5" by Lou Bega, and hacky-sack in your Speedo (underwear is not a substitute).