30 fo 30

It has been six months since my last entry. I experienced a rapid descent into complete fitness and nutrition failure, which began the day after completing Jillian Michaels workouts and The ODJ’s Groundhog’s Day Food Challenge. Complete failure! 

I allowed back ever pound, plus an extra seven for good measure. I gained it all in less than five months -- a personal high and fastest increase. The digestive system was thrown out of whack by the excessive healthy food during the low-calorie high intake portion of the food challenge, causing me to fear the good. To add insult to gut injury, the continued pandemic restrictions has prevented real swim training, which is the best system regulator. 

My years of empowering fat storage, followed by wild weight loss programs, has been the driving force behind No Fat Jokes Please powered by the ODJ. However, this most recent loss-gain cycle was nasty. The record weight gain would've been ok on its own, but I experienced new body calamities: aches that mimicked post workout strains while not having worked out for months; food went from comforting the soul to taking on back ally addiction qualities; there was prolonged gut pains that sent me back into the arms of bland processed foods; and gym conditions deteriorated to new levels during extended pandemic restrictions. I am winded just writing. 

By Thanksgiving week my waistline had used up all the extra elastic. Seams holding my slacks together were beyond structural integrity parameters, within days of an embarrassing crotch blowouts. Catastrophic zipper to belt ripping is a sure bet at that gut size. An office walk of shame was in my immediate future -- my dress coat tied around my waist and pride in ruins. With gravy and stuffing only days away, things had to quickly change.

First off, I dropped my guilty pleasure sodas. Second, got off the “Wo unto me” chocolate medication. Lastly, white ain’t right... Stopped all bread consumption. Getting down with brown!

The diet was in some form of repair going into the worst eating season of the year, which only gave me a little time to focus on workouts. Son of a fat woman’s high heel pump! I was needing to go strong during the most restrictive mask and occupancy mandate of the entire pandemic. Challenge accepted.

Challenge was accepted with zeal. Then I began my first work out... NOPE! No strength or endurance could be mustard. There was no way I was jumping back into an ODJ program at my current state of fat and fatigue. Time for remedy... aka remedial workouts. Think of them as one step above water aerobics. Introducing “30 for 30” workout program.

30 days

30 minutes of activity

            Push up, jump rope, crunches

            Planks and prayers

            Seated stationary bike 

            Neighborhood power walk    

            Rowing machine and push ups

If all goes well, I will be in decent enough shape to complete an ODJ recovery day workout by Inauguration Day.