Psycho Billy loco motive

The music of Johnny Cash reminds me of a steam engine revving up to speed. (For better effect put on his 1976 "One Piece at a Time" while reading this entry.) Of late my workouts have been resembling a steam engine. It doesn't matter how hot the boiler gets before leaving the station there ain't going to be any speed for miles. During my college days in the pool I excelled in sprint backstroke. But these days I'm labelled a distance swimmer. Not because I am thick in the middle and slightly askew mentally, those are mere coincidences. Rather because it takes me a quarter of a mile to just wake up in most races. In the gym is no different.

When Jaron, the Anthony Bourdain of body parts unknown, writes a strength phase with five sets I get excited. The first two sets are brutal as my body pops and cracks. By the last set I am in the zone. In stride. Full steam. Jaron and I are planning on a max weight lift in the coming weeks. I am fully aware real men don't plan something as simple as a max lift. But with a professional-personal schedule that resembles a Looney Tunes fight cloud I need to have mundane task calendared... "Home by 5:30." "Set alarm for 4:30a.m. alarm." "Get gainzzz!" I need reminders for my reminders. I digress. When we go for our max weight lift Jaron told me that five reps at 135lbs will be his warm up. I will have to hit the elliptical for :20 minutes, drop a few sets of ten push-ups, and then progress through a ladder of bench press sets starting at 135lbs to be ready for my best effort. Can you hear the train a coming!?! Whhhhhooooeeeooooooheeeooohh.

 

There's no option #2

"Ten years I devoted to you, but you deceived me! You hid the manual's true meaning. I never improved but your progress was limitless." Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

I would like to submit a foundational principle Jaron has taught me that may seem surface level elementary to dedicated work out folk. All great fitness regiments provide a healthy mix of individualized exercises. Obvious, right? Even though a wonderful program adapts to our evolving person, what's not revealed by the great ones is the formation of our programs are not a democratic process. In the hands of a craftsman we should never have a choice. Our choice should be to show up and do work, or not. This is especially true for myself. With two years' worth of repetition in strength training, circuits, and cardio sets I am my own worst enemy. It's zeal without knowledge.

My files contain great program sheets full of Jaron's excellence. I could easily set out on my own and devote years to Jaron's manual. The possibility of success would still be there since that is driven by my choice to show up and do work. But the probability of success would surely diminish on my own. Put aside for a moment motivation and varying amounts of vanity. Without a coach to see the long view and continually tweak and retool my program objectively I would eventually fall back into the path of least resistance. Never to improve. Then eventually fail. 

Are we human, or are we work out?

"Your demons can chase you, or you can exercise with them."
                                                                       -- Achieving ODJ

I recently sat down with a longtime friend, who more importantly is an old UNLV Swimming teammate, to catch up and break bread. These days when we reminisce about the by-gone years in the pool it sounds more and more like an inspirational Nike commercial. We seem to forget a majority of the time our training program resembled the Old Testament... When swimmer was in Egypt's land. Let my swimmer go!

No matter how many years it's been since our glory days in the pool, inevitably our conversation passes through the land of current personal fitness efforts. We have similar lives; both with multiple young children, strong to very strong stay at home moms for our progeny, and sales based corporate American jobs. (The latter can make or break one's waste line if precautions are not taken when entertaining or being entertained.) We compare notes looking to gain additional workout insight. At this station in life I am looking for fitness truths, and my obstinate ego long suppressed by epic fails. I seek to gain from anyone. We discuss what I'm doing to stay thin(ner). What his workouts look like. What is the best bang for the buck when time is at a premium. An the crucial component; is there an external motivation source. The minister of muscle manipulation will have an interesting perspective. (See comment section.)

I am currently training for an adult swim meet in December. This upcoming meet has ensured a good amount of motivation to swim three days per week and hit JBK’s program another three days. On the seventh day so he rested. My dear friend said he did not have a road race on the books to prepare for so he was going through the motions during his daily runs. JBK will admit that without a pending beach trip or work sponsored weight loss contest he too will “go through the motions.” For me, if it ain’t written down or shook on then it is just a pipe dream and the slide toward Fat Jarvis has already begun. My hat goes off to people who can work out for vanity’s sake. Oh, excuse me… I meant, "for health’s sake." Nudge, nudge. Wink wink.

O Circuits! My Circuits!

It's great to be back! I enjoyed my unscheduled hiatus from the blog. Hopefully you read the stand-in blog produced by our very own Jaron "JBK" Krause. It was his first solo piece; "The lunatic has taken over asylum." I was well pleased with his maturity and filtered thought. (Still not 100% sure he didn't bribe a morally straight ghost writer.)

During my writer's block induced break we finished strength phase in early September, moving right into circuits. In bygone phases when circuit time comes around I look forward to combining short rest with repetitious exercises that run from start to finish under :30 minutes. This round of circuits on paper is merely blissful echoes of circuits past. That's until we come to the cardio portion of the day. The warlord of waistlines has whipped up a nasty second course on the elliptical. Five minute warm up and then one minute at 90 rpms on a 8-9 level resistance, then three minutes off. It's balls to the walls on the 5:00, 9:00, 13:00, 17:00, 21:00 and 25:00 minute mark -- ending with a cool down to the 30:00. If you ever want to walk in the shoes of a marionette with providence issues, jump on this elliptical party and enjoy spasmodic muscle twitches for an hour hence.

Leg day

3 rounds :30 seconds rest each set

Prison squats    20ea

Jumping lungs   16ea

Speed Skaters  :45 sec

2:00 minute break

3 rounds... second verse same as the first.

Squat to press  16ea   45lbs BB
18" box jumps  12ea
Single leg squats 6ea   opposite leg on bench with two 20 lbs DB

Upper body day
3 rounds :30 seconds rest each set
Bench press  10ea   155lbs
Bent-over underhand rows  15ea 70lbs BB
21's  45lbs BB
2:00 minute break
3 rounds... yada, yada, yada.
Pushups 20ea
Reverse pushups 20ea
Plank pushups 15ea

Core day
3 rounds of :45 seconds with :30 seconds rest each set
Burpies
Crossover Mountain Climbers
Knee tucks with mat
2:00 minute break
3 rounds... blah, blah, blah.
Planks
V-ups
Roll-outs   feet 6" off ground