What's our vision and plan?

"It appears my hypocrisy knows no bound."
                                   -Doc Holiday

As mentioned in the previous post my local medical professional suggested trimming pounds off the old fat banks in order to calm the savage heart burn beast. But what I failed to mention was his strong recommendation to end my love affair with diet caffeine free sodas (I'll leave the grizzly details of embalming ourselves one Big Gulp at a time to the professional.) Now that I'm on a 12-step program to cut my aspartame dependency it notches my transformation toward a healthy eater one step closer to a lock stepping Whole Foods fascist... I AM, ROBOT!

Where to go now? What is the vision for this final stage of gastric reckoning? Can my hypocrisy truly handle the pressures of healthy living? Is there anyone out there? All valid and introspective questions, of which I dare not attempt to answer 1400 calories into a day with only 400 left on the menu -- greater men have buckled under more optimistic near future prospects. What I do know at this moment to be truth is the simple fact that fat sheds when I put less in the pie-hole and then pick the dumb bell up and put it down a bunch of times. And also with the occasional cardiovascular set to allow me time to think up these cathartic written exercises. 

100th post!

"The self has a common origin with characteristics key to fooling anyone; vanity, vanity, vanity."- Achieving ODJ

My oh my our dear friends, it has been a wild and exciting three months on sabbatical... Jaron traveled the Caribbean seeking out perspective as I enjoyed sleeping in late and catching up on my culinary vices. It is exciting that the 100th blog post comes on the hills of a full scale repentance for my dietary infidelity and re-commitment to all things healthy. (It also helps that my 20th high school class reunion is scheduled for September 20th of this year.)

For our loyal followers of the past half decade of readership, you will be pleased to know that I settled my loss of the weight contest with Jaron; one all-you-can-eat sushi for the winner (minus paying for the booze!) Thankfully an amendment to the original contract language was approved -- instead of having me lose 20 lbs prior to the lunch taking place we agreed it would happen after Jaron reached his goal. I unofficially lost zero grapefruit, with a few liberal judges recording a two pound gain by the end of the contest. Either way, it was a great lunch! I'm glad we finished our lunch prior to the sushi chef and my partner engaging in a bizarre, yet comforting, cross culture bonding rite through broken English and a tradition of warm plum sake shots.

Now that schedules are back to the mundane, the Practitioner of Pain and I will continue to poke fun at the herd mentality in fitness (look out Crossfit snake oil salesmen, we have a mission to prove its a gross distortion of truth and doctored results.) And we'll continue making numerous visits to the comic well that keeps on giving; Western Society's pursuit for the shorter, faster magic formula for weight loss. So until #101, we at No Fat Jokes Please want to thank you for putting up with us for the past few years and hope the next 100 will be as confusing and bush league as the first 100.